A State My Name Refers : Beatitude

It’s going to be very personal kind of writing, so you can’t expect anything kkkk

Happiness. The first thing comes up to my mind every time I read this word is myself (so self-oriented? No noo!). If you check out up there, this writing made by Sella Lametta (my name, yes!), the first word there was originally taken from the world “sela-lu bahagia” or literally means “always happy”. So, since I get more numbers in my age, I finally contended a deeper meaning my parents actually tried to deliver through my name.

I suppose myself to be born as a source of happiness for people.

And since then, I know I could easily enjoy every second of my life if I fulfill that duty -making people happy by my presence. In short, I always try to do my best in accomplishing my goals and my dreams, that’s most likely to tick a point where I can make people happy. I struggled very hard every time possible to make people I love happy, that being said, I can gain my happiness too.

However, after living this world for more than 20 years, I have started to understand, that there are more people that own their expectation from me -to make them happy. Most of the time, I will per se place those names I love and respect to the list of “people-whom-i-should-give-the-happiness”. But more and more experiences told me if there are just some that don’t fit the list, by the same term and time than others.

It might sound cliche. But it is happening right now and turning into my top life-issues. Then, can I just blame those who have trusted and expected me? Is it that I hate them? NO, not at all.

Not hitting their name on my list is becoming a big question to myself. Why is it hard to make them happy like I usually do? I am mean, aren’t I?

However, there must be a reason and a lesson of a thing happened. By that fact, I realized, that I was not born to fulfill everyone’s expectation from me. To make them happy might be a cool duty I decide myself to have, but again, forcing myself to fake attitude just to make those people happy, will never make myself happy.

The important part of happiness, maybe not only limit as to how you can be the source of happiness of others but most importantly is how you can make that oneself -call yourself happy, then you can start to reflect that feeling to your surrounding, no one hurts, no one fakes.

And those of you, who might not be on top of my concern yet, I am sorry to be too honest in life, to rather stop then fake. I appreciate that so much. I might just need more time to learn to make myself and other names happy first, before helping you. Not to worry, every time I failed to make you all happy, I pray to Allah more, to send you much more joy and blessings of life. He is the one and the only true source of happiness, right?

“And upon Allah rely on, if you should be believers“

To tell you and myself that people rarely behave exactly the way they are imagined to. It is okay for wishing for the best, but please temper our expectations of others. Trust me, it will lead you to a true happiness.

And lastly, thank you for trusting me so much. Even if this recent situation seems doesn’t work well enough, it is somehow worth it as it taught me to learn more about life and relationship. To that extent, I thank you.