Articles : How, and by Whom, Should Children Be Taught Appropriate Behavior?

    Good manners reflect a good personality. A good personality is a basic need that should be owned by all individuals to live their life. In the young age, we all might have no idea about the good manners until our parents told us about what to do and stop us from doing the other thing. Therefore, the good manner which is considered as “normal” is the one that is described and set by the parents socially, culturally and developmentally. Without any doubt, the parents are clearly taken the most important part to tell the children about how to be a good person that has the appropriate behavior. The parents also are responsible for avoiding the inappropriate behavior from the children. 

      Parents are the people that almost every child meets and be around every day. The habit of gathering every single day then causes the children interact often and lead them to see what their parents usually do. Children are the individuals who see and then copy, who record everything they listen and face in life then imitate. When the parents do the good behavior in front of their children, they must be encouraged to do the same thing. It always is good to teach the children about behavior since they are young.  The older they are, the more difficult for them to accept the parent’s lecture. The parents should start from teaching them the polite words, patience, empathy and other appropriate behaviors. (Westen, 2009) To motivate the children to behave well, positive reinforcement must be used in the form of rewards. (Kelly, 2010) The children need to know when and why they are being good as well as specifically what the good thing they did. The best and more powerful rewards are immediate, specific and surely unexpected. (Institute, 2013) 

      Mostly, the parents must be close to their children physically. In any case, when the inappropriate behavior is observed, the parent can automatically correct it straight afterward. If the inappropriate are kept being done, it means the children have been allowed to do it. In the reality, it may not always be the parent’s behavior that they copy, it can be the society’s. However, again, the parents are in charge to help them correct it. To assist overcoming the inappropriate issues, the parents should correct the behavior politely. The parents’ polite gestures show that they do care about their children and value them. (Institute, 2013) The parents should always set the rules clearly and on that account, the children will know exactly what not to do and why they can not do that. (Westen, 2009) Sometimes, the parents can also use the punishment as the tool to help them control the behavior. One thing should always be remembered that the punishment will be only effective when it is used well, correctly and appropriate enough to their children’s age. However, at any age, the punishment must not be applied as the main strategy of teaching the children. Similar to the rewards, punishments will work best if they are immediate and consistent. (Benaroch, 2013)

       Nevertheless, as all people know that going to school will always be part of someone’s life, including children. At school, children will get along and interact with others and get the education from the teachers. Many people also believe that children’s behavior is under the teacher’s responsibility. Still, one should know if schools are already asked many things, such as to provide children with good education, food, a safe environment, extra help when needed, and others. (Doyne, 2012) If the behavior education becomes school’s agenda, it must take away the learning time because the teacher is too busy dealing with other naughty children and it is absolutely unfair for the rest of class. The teachers may help this issue during classes by stopping the behaviors which are not right in the school and tell the parents if their children have a noticeable improper behavior. Besides, the teacher may also stop the bad behavior right away when it might disturb other children. Yet, it will just give a temporary effect if the parents still do not help their own children about the improper behavior that they just did. 

       In conclusion, the parents are most likely being the responsible figure when dealing with children’s behavior. In most cases, every child is living with their parents and spend most of their time with them. The children are born as an empty sheet and the parents help them create the pattern in it. The bad or good the children’s behavior should be responded well straight afterward they know what they did. The parents can encourage the new good behavior by giving a reward and stop the bad behavior by giving a punishment. The most important thing is to set the firm rule and use love as the basis of education.

References:

      Benaroch, Boy. “5 essential principles by parent.” KevinMD, KevinMD, 19 February 2012. <http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/02/teaching-children-behave-5-essential-principles.html>

      Doyne, Shannon. “How, and by Whom, Should Children Be Taught Appropriate Behavior?“ New York Times, Learning Blogs, 15 October 2012. <“http://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/15/how-and-by-whom-should-children-be-taught-appropriate-behavior/?_r=0>

      Kelly, R.B. & Frank J.D. “Child behavior what parents can do to change their child’s behavior.”FamilyDoctor, Family Doctor, September 2010. <http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/kids/behavior-emotions/child-behavior-what-parents-can-do-to-change-their-childs-behavior.html>

      Institute, Sears. “7 Ways to teach Your Child Good Manners.” Sears Institute, Sears Institute, 23 August 2013. <http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/morals-manners/7-ways-teach-your-child-manners>

      Westen, Robin. “The surprising secret to raise a well-behaved kid.” Parents Magazine, Parents, April 2009. <http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/get-a-well-behaved-kid/>

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